Recently, I’ve found myself reactive to a few situations that were caused by the negativity of others. I felt my emotions take over and it felt like I had no control. No matter how hard I tried; I couldn’t calm myself off of the ledge. This was especially frustrating because I KNOW how much stress RUINS me. Stress, especially chronic stress, is the worst thing for those with autoimmune diseases although it can equally impact healthy individuals. For me, it flares both chronic illnesses and leaves me useless for at least 24 hours after I’ve had that experience.
I have a few things going against me when it comes to those moments, the ones where I feel that fight or flight and if you know me, flight is never an option. Dysautonomia puts my autonomic nervous system on a hair line trigger which sends my body’s response into overdrive. I also have a genetic mutation called the MTHFR. Yes, that mutation does simulate what you’re thinking and yes, it lives up to its “name” because it can be a contributor to MANY health challenges. These challenges make it my top priority to reduce stress. Easier said than done especially when having a chronic illness is stressful in itself.
"Nowadays, our bodies go into fight or flight for relatively minor things that don’t really threaten our survival."
Unfortunately, most western medicine doctors don’t discuss the impact stress may be having on your health, or at least not in detail, when you are seeking their medical advice. There are all types of stress and not all types are bad. The bad stress may be related to childhood traumas which can stay with you and manifest later in life or it can be stress from a tragic event like the loss of a loved one. The good types of stress can come from the excitement you get in certain experiences like a first date or from the moments where you are taking positive risks. There is the necessary stress that tells us when a situation is off and when we should prepare to fight or flight. Our bodies were designed with that natural instinct and back when we needing to hunt and survive, it was a necessity. Nowadays, our bodies go into fight or flight for relatively minor things that don’t really threaten our survival. An upsetting email for example or an interaction with someone at the grocery store who is having a bad day. Small doses of that stress are okay (acute stress), but when it becomes chronic (constant), it can wreak havoc on your body and your health.
One way to reduce your stress in the situations above (the email and the grocery store), is to realize that there are only 2 things happening. The first is what was actually said or what actually happened. The second is what you make that mean. For example, as a business owner I receive cancellations from time to time (obviously now more than ever but that’s beside the point). A client can send a basic email saying I need to cancel. What was actually said? 4 simple words. Now, what did I make that mean? Well, all sorts of things. I made it mean that my product isn’t good enough. Maybe they don’t like me or maybe they are mad at me for that one time 3 years ago when I didn’t go to their birthday party. Maybe now that they have cancelled, everyone will cancel. You see how we can start to spiral? They could have cancelled for a magnitude of reasons and those reasons could have nothing to do with me, but I created my own story. When we create our own stories and scenarios, it brings about unnecessary stress and we are ALL guilty of this.
Although it takes time to train our brains to look at situations from an outside perspective, knowing that we do this already gives us power. The next time something triggers you, you’ll be able to ask, “What about this situation upset me?”. By creating that internal dialogue, you will begin to remove yourself and see the situation for what it actually is rather than what you are making it mean. Goodbye, stress! Well, most of it anyways.
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